5 Ways You Can Solve Your Toddler’s Terrible Twos

I’ve been there, I’m at a store in the checkout line when all of a sudden a no to a toy renders my child absolutely nuts! There’s the kicking and screaming and oh yea lots of eyes on this kid friendly Jerry Springer show. You’re frustrated and so is your child. You’ve reached an impasse and are not sure what to do. The truth is, there are solutions you can implement to diffuse the frequent occurrence of terrible twos and take back your sanity and life.

This stage in a child’s life can be frustrating for the toddler and mom. The toddler is struggling to express his emotions and mom is frantically trying to find coping solutions. We moms can feel such immense guilt when we’re pulling our hair out at our child’s behavior. On one end we love our child infinitely and on the other we’re dealing with frustrations, stress, anxieties and tiredness…If you’re at your wit’s end to find proven ways to build a relationship of love, trust and boundaries, this blog post will help.

Think of how you’d feel if you were sleep deprived and hadn’t eaten. Author Jojo Jensen quips, “Without sleep, we’d all become 2 year olds.” Create a routine that manages your child’s time to rest and replenish as well as intake the food needed to create mental acuity, alertness, and cheerful interactions. Be mindful of the foods your toddler intakes, Krista Hillis, who specializes in psychology and neuroscience says this, “high-sugar diets affect proteins that are needed for optimal brain development. In comparison, one study, published in Physiology and Behavior, found that when given a breakfast low in sugar and high in fiber, children [can] experience improved mood.”

One of the biggest escalators of terrible twos is our (the parent’s) mood shift. Your child becomes agitated and you in turn rub your temples, your body language changes, so does your tone of voice, maybe you even become visibly angry. Our children are constantly taking lessons from us. If we get upset, then they feed off those emotions. While it’s important to stay calm, it is imperative you stay firm, stick your guns and reiterate that no means no. It’s easy to buy the candy or toy to curb these terrible tantrums, undeniably, this adult reaction sets up the toddler for future behaviors and what to expect from mom. Instead, breathe in deeply and stay calm. If staying calm is a challenge, look into some meditation and breath work classes. Displaying a sense of composure tells the child that you’re listening, but you’re in charge.

You are the parent and you set the rules. One of the biggest challenges in parenting is setting rules that establish boundaries and sticking to them. Here is some food for thought to consider from The Golden Rules of Toddler Discipline, “What harm is it, you might ask yourself, if your 12-month-old pulls your books off the shelf or your 18-month-old neglects to say “please”? The answer: If you don’t approve of a behavior now—even if your child looks comically cute as he’s defying you—you won’t like it after a few dozen times, either. He’s trying to figure out what’s okay and what’s not. It’s your job to tell him.”

There are engaging, fun ways to introduce rules and authority to your toddler. This rule chart is a good example of one you can introduce at home:

Bad behavior can persist if the toddler witnesses parents not following the standards and boundaries put in place. You can’t expect your rules to be followed if you raise your voice loudly, scream and/or exhibit your own bout of adult tantrums. Kids Health says this about discipling your toddler, “And don’t forget that kids learn by watching adults, particularly their parents. Make sure your behavior is role-model material.” Fundamentally, your children are not only learning from the verbal rules you’ve put in place, they’ll also follow the non-verbal actions you display.

The last thing you want is your child believing that they’re always getting into trouble. Remember to praise verbally and show affection. Michelle Macias, MD, an associate professor of pediatrics at the Medical University of South Carolina and a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics asserts, “A parent’s job is to shape children’s behavior. Children consider praise a reward in itself, and praise is a way to help them learn which kinds of behaviors are acceptable, even from the earliest days.” Here are a few examples of positively complimenting your toddler:

-You make me proud

-You’re a good listener

-You did a great job packing up your toys

-You’re a good big sister or brother

Complimenting your child not only improves their self image, it will also play a pivotal role in getting your kids to follow the rules you’ve put in place and your toddler will most likely be encouraged to develop better habits. Additionally, your toddler will learn how to work with others in social settings by cleaning up, being kind and using positive words to express feelings.

Enjoyed this post? Tell us how you deal with your toddler’s terrible twos tantrums.