Finding Joy After Trauma: Why Healing Isn’t a Prerequisite
That person who did you wrong… the things they said and did? They weren’t meant for you to carry forever. And yet here you are, waiting for the right moment to finally be “over it.” But what if that moment never comes? The truth is, some traumas don’t heal on our timeline. Some scars never fully fade.
And that’s okay—because your time isn’t someday. Your time is now.
Now is the time to powerfully reclaim your autonomy, your mind, and your direction. Healing might not come in the way or the timeframe you want. Closure for those wrongs may never show up at your doorstep. And holding onto them? That only causes you harm. It drains your energy, your emotions, and it keeps you stuck in place.
So here’s the uncomfortable truth: you don’t have to wait until you’re fully healed to start living a joyful life.
The Myth of “I’ll Be Happy When I’m Healed”
We tell ourselves, Once I’m healed, I’ll feel lighter.
Once I’m over this, then I’ll be free.
Once they apologize, I can move on.
But waiting on those things is like putting your life on layaway—hoping one day the conditions will finally be right. What if that day never comes? What if healing isn’t a destination but a practice you walk through daily?
Joy isn’t waiting for you at the end of healing—it’s something you can cultivate right now, alongside the mess, the memories, and the scar tissue.
Healing Through Living
Healing doesn’t just happen in therapy sessions, journaling, or processing. Those are important, yes. But sometimes, healing sneaks in when you least expect it:
When you belly laugh with your kids.
When you take that trip you thought you weren’t ready for.
When you dance in your kitchen to a song that once hurt but now feels like yours again.
Every moment you choose joy, you remind your body and your soul that you’re not just what happened to you. You are someone who can still create light—even while carrying shadows.
📖 In my book, Mom Take Center Stage, I talk about what it means to stop abandoning yourself and start choosing life—on your terms. If you’ve ever felt stuck in guilt, shame, or the weight of “what happened,” this book will help you see that you don’t need permission to reclaim your story. You get to take center stage, even while healing.
Joy as Resistance
Sometimes joy isn’t fluffy. Sometimes it’s an act of rebellion. A refusal to let trauma define every corner of your existence.
Choosing joy doesn’t mean denying what happened. It means refusing to give it all your power. It’s saying:
Yes, this happened. Yes, it left scars. But no, it doesn’t get to own me.
Every time you laugh, love, build, or dream—you’re flipping trauma the middle finger and saying, You don’t get the last word.
Living in the Both/And
The most liberating part? You don’t have to choose between healing and joy. You can live in the both/and.
Both grieving what you lost and laughing until your stomach hurts.
Both acknowledging the triggers and building new traditions that make you feel alive.
Both scarred and radiant.
You don’t have to wait to be one or the other. You already are both.
Healing is not a race you need to win before you’re allowed to feel joy. It’s something you walk out, one choice at a time, every day you’re alive. And Joy is available to you right now—not after you’ve “arrived,” not after they’ve apologized, not after the pain has completely disappeared.
Because the truth is, you’re not broken. You are becoming.
✨ Choose joy today—not because the trauma is gone, but because you are still here.
📖 If these words resonate with you, you’ll find even more encouragement in my book, Mom Take Center Stage. It’s about reclaiming your identity, your power, and your joy—even in the middle of life’s hardest seasons. Because you deserve more than survival. You deserve center stage.
