There was a time when I thought that being a “good” mom meant being everything to everyone, all the time.
Dinner on the table. Inbox at zero. Kids signed up for the “right” programs. A tidy house. Birthday gifts purchased and wrapped weeks in advance. And, of course, still finding time to be an attentive partner, a loving friend, a boss at work, and maybe squeeze in a quick self-care ritual—if there was anything left in the tank.
Spoiler alert: There never was.
If you’ve ever found yourself chasing the gold star of “doing it all,” you’re not alone. But let’s be real—it’s not sustainable. And more importantly, it’s not necessary.
In fact, “doing it all” is completely overrated—and letting go of that pressure might be the most liberating shift you ever make.
The Problem with “Doing It All”
Somewhere along the line, moms were sold the idea that multitasking equals success. That motherhood means self-sacrifice. That rest is lazy. That if you’re not juggling a hundred things flawlessly, you’re failing.
But the reality?
Doing it all comes at a cost.
Burnout. Resentment. Constant guilt. A never-ending to-do list that leaves you wondering, Is this it?
When we try to be everything to everyone, we end up being not much to ourselves. Our sense of purpose gets watered down in the noise. And the worst part is, no one hands out medals for being the most exhausted.
Why It’s a Trap
“Doing it all” is a trap because it’s based on an illusion: that we’re somehow more worthy if we’re constantly busy. That the more plates we spin, the more value we bring.
But this is what I learned; Busy doesn’t equal valuable.
When you try to stretch yourself across every possible role, you dilute your energy and rob yourself of depth. In reality, you’re not leading—you’re reacting. You’re not thriving—you’re surviving.
The truth is, we don’t need more martyrs. We need more mothers who lead with intention.
What to Do Instead
So, what do you do if you’re ready to break up with the pressure to “do it all”?
You start getting strategic.
You get clear on what actually matters. What gives you energy. What aligns with your values and your season of life.
Here’s what that might look like:
Embrace strategic priorities. Understand that not everything is urgent. Not everything is for right now. Focus on what moves the needle, not just what screams the loudest. Learn to say no. Saying “no” isn’t selfish—it’s leadership. (I wrote a whole blog post about this. It’s an act of self-worth, not defiance. Read it here. ) Delegate, drop, or delay. Every task doesn’t have to go through you. Get comfortable asking yourself; Can someone else do this? Can I do it later? Does it even need to be done? Define your own version of success. Don’t let someone else’s highlight reel become your measuring stick. Decide what enough looks like for you.
The Mindset Shift
This isn’t just about your calendar—it’s about your identity.
You’re not here on earth to prove your worth through exhaustion. You’re here to live it boldly.
This means moving from:
Martyrdom → Leadership Chaos → Intentionality Perfection → Presence
It’s not about doing less for the sake of doing less. It’s about doing what matters most with clarity and confidence.
It’s about showing your children that wholeness is more powerful than busyness. That you can build a beautiful life without burning out.
Practical Ways to Make the Shift
If you’re wondering where to begin, try one of these simple practices this week:
Focus on your Top three priorities. Instead of tackling a mile-long list, ask: What are the top 3 things that truly matter today? Use a 15-Minute Focus Block. You’d be amazed what you can accomplish in 15 distraction-free minutes. (I wrote a whole guide on this—check it out.) Do a Weekly Reset. Take one hour at the start or end of your week to regroup, reset, and realign with your goals and energy.
And most importantly: give yourself permission to rest. Rest is not a reward—it’s a requirement.
You Don’t Have to Do It All to Do It Well
Let this be your permission slip to release the pressure, stop performing, and start leading your life with purpose.
Your value doesn’t come from being stretched thin—it comes from being rooted in who you are, what you care about, and what season you’re in.
You’re not here to do it all.
You’re here to do what matters.
And that’s more than enough.
Let’s Talk About It:
What’s one thing you’ve said “no” to recently that felt like a win? Or one thing you’re ready to let go of?
Drop it in the comments—I’d love to cheer you on.
And if you’re ready to reclaim your time, confidence, and voice as a mom, preorder my book Mom Take Center Stage—it’s packed with real stories, mindset shifts, and practical tools for women ready to lead from within.
photography credit: https://unsplash.com/@brooksrice
