Losing Yourself in Motherhood? Here’s How to Start Finding Your Way Back

You love your kids. That part has never been in question.

But somewhere between diaper changes, carpool chaos, and keeping everyone else afloat, you looked up and realized—you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like you.

If that hits a little too close to home, you’re not alone.

The Quiet Disappearance of “You”

Motherhood has a way of consuming everything. Your time. Your energy. Your mental tabs. And before you know it, your reflection feels unfamiliar—not just in the mirror, but in your thoughts, your voice, your dreams.

It’s not that you regret becoming a mom.

It’s that no one told you how easy it is to disappear inside the role.

You become the glue, the giver, the go-to for everything and everyone. But when was the last time you asked yourself:

What do I need? Who am I becoming? What do I want?

These aren’t selfish questions.

They’re soul-saving ones.

Step 1: Acknowledge the Drift

The first step isn’t to overhaul your life. It’s simply to tell the truth.

Say it out loud: “I don’t feel like myself anymore.”

There’s power in naming it—because you can’t reclaim what you’re pretending you haven’t lost.

Give yourself permission to grieve the disconnect, without guilt. You’re allowed to miss yourself. And you’re allowed to come back to her.

Step 2: Reconnect in Small Ways

You don’t have to run away to a retreat center to reconnect with yourself (though, wouldn’t that be dreamy?). Start with tiny reconnections that remind you: I’m still in here.

Try:

Listening to music that lit you up before motherhood, Journaling for 5 minutes in the morning (even if it’s just scribbles), Drinking your coffee before the chaos, not during Getting dressed for you, not just for errands

These aren’t superficial habits—they’re anchors. And the more often you do them, the easier it becomes to hear your own voice again.

Step 3: Reclaim One Piece of Joy

What did you love before your title was mom?

Dancing? Reading? Painting? Writing? Sitting in silence?

Pick one thing that made you feel alive. Then find a small, doable way to invite it back into your life—even if it’s just 10 minutes a week.

Joy is a form of resistance. It says: I matter too.

Step 4: Redefine “Mom” On Your Terms

One reason moms lose themselves is because we were handed a script we didn’t write.

The perfect mom. The selfless mom. The mom who’s always available, always patient, always sacrificing.

But guess what? That script is outdated—and it’s breaking us.

Start writing your own definition of motherhood—one that includes your needs, your dreams, your flaws, your voice. You don’t have to follow someone else’s version of what being a mom should look like.

You get to choose how this story goes.

Step 5: Surround Yourself With Voices That See You

You don’t need a huge circle—but you do need people who remind you you’re more than a caretaker.

Find spaces (online or in person) where you can talk about things beyond kids. Where someone asks, “What do you want?” and actually waits for your answer.

And if you’re struggling to find that community? Let this blog be your starting place. I see you. I hear you. You’re not invisible here.

You’re Not Lost—You’re Becoming

You may feel like you’ve disappeared, but you’re not gone.

You’re in the process of becoming a more honest, whole version of yourself.

Finding your way back doesn’t mean going back to who you were before kids. It means moving forward with intention—bringing her with you.

Because your kids don’t just need a mom.

They need to see a woman who values herself, too.

Want more?

Join the Waitlist for Mom Take Center Stage and get early access, sneak peeks, and a special guide:
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💭Let’s Chat!

What’s one way you’re challenging motherhood and finding the woman you’re meant to be? I’d love to hear from you and cheer you on.